Get Rich or Almost Die Trying
Have y’all ever been told you have to work twice as hard to be half as good as “them”? That no matter how much work you do, it just won’t be enough?
It hit me the other day, that holding on to this belief was keeping me from moving forward. Y’all I think I unlocked the secret to my solving my biggest “creative people problem”— never feeling like enough. I have been spreading myself thin for so long, constantly trying to launch several projects at once….not believing that one idea can suffice. Hiding behind the veil of “perfectionism” when the reality is I was uncomfortable with who I was and how I expressed myself. Dedicating grave shift hours to my craft, to gain nothing but a few bones. Always feeling the need to prove myself…doing more than what was required.
The conclusion I came to was to detach my self-worth from my productivity. Value shouldn’t be based on how much you can get done. We are not robots! I’m learning how to love and accept myself unconditionally, and it has caused a major shift in how I approach my work. I can enjoy the process now, instead of creating so much judgment around the end result.
We are not what we do, but who we are. – Doe
Okay It’s #storytime y’all
About three years ago, I got in a car accident that totally could’ve been avoided. I jeopardized my life and 2 others, by not honoring my Self.
A couple nights before the accident, I came across a post from a popular videographer on Instagram. He was searching for volunteers to assist with an upcoming shoot. They kept the identity of the artist under wraps until the time of the shoot, so I figured whoever it was they must be important.
So I get to the shoot, and it was for Lil Duval! He was shooting a video for his song “Christmas Trees”.
I was there from sun up to sun down, wrapping gifts, decorating Christmas tress, and blowing fake snow in the air!
So for all my hard work and dedication, I was compensated with some cool conversation, and a couple of IG followers.
I didn’t bother to add the video to my portfolio, because I felt like I didn’t contribute enough to the vision smh
Here’s how the video turned out.
After wrapping up, I get a surprise phone call. This is the moment I had been waiting for… on the other end of the line was the owner of The Spice Group. I was a big fan of their work, after seeing what they did with The Trap Music Museum. There was no way I was turning this down…no matter how tired I was.
Long story short…I rushed to grab some last-minute items for a photoshoot, and tried to put some shit together…
Just to hang out in the lobby til like 5 in the morning….becauseeee the shoot never happened!
I did gain a dope friend though. Kosh is helping creatives step out of the struggle life lol check him out! https://www.instagram.com/k0sh.0/
Okay back to the story,
Yep that’s right…I did all that for nothing. I mean I was compensated for the time, but it was no where near enough to justify what happened not too long after I left the studio.
I headed home to rest my eyes for a few hours before it was time for work. I dragged myself out of bed without the adequate amount of juice to make it through the day.
and then Boom!
literally…The brain fog clouded my judgment and I took a turn, prematurely. Before I could make it across the intersection, the wild fuzzy blurb in my peripheral slams into the side of my car… which shoved me right into a nice Mercedes Benz chilling at the red light.
So I came out of this with $200, a wrecked car, and a lesson learned.
Don’t be like me y’all. There are ways to establish yourself as an artist/creative without neglecting your needs. Know your worth and take care of yourself. You can get rich without almost dying.
